GenderQueer Literature

I’ve Never Seen his Face

By R.L. Merrill.

I’ve never seen his face

But I know him implicitly

He laughs at dick jokes 

And innuendo explicitly.

He sends me to giggling

And distracts me with a look

The closest I’ve come to finding him

Was in the pages of a book.

He’s a rebel, he’s obnoxious

He’s probably out of shape

He hates to ever sit still

He’s a hero without a cape.

He’s not one to sit back

While others hurt needlessly

But he longs to break free

And live his life recklessly.

We’re destined never to meet

But I know him in my heart

He’ll be with me til the end

When we’ll join rather than part.

I’ve never seen his face

Not his smile full of glee

But I’ll always know his heart

Because he is within me.


POET STATEMENT: RL MERRIL

“I’ve Never Seen His Face” is about the inner 13-year-old boy inside of me who never had a chance to grow up, and be all he could be. Instead, he has kept me company all these years. He drives my fashion choices, my sense of humor, my idea of what beauty really is, and he consoles me whenever I have to get “dressed up” aka don my feminine self. There are still times when I want to wear my super fun rockabilly dresses, or I want to buy a new eyeliner or lipstick, but then that’s truly when I am trying to fit into where the world expects me to be. Now I do it on my terms. And my inner 13-year-old boy snickers, calls me a sell-out, and says, “Hey, nice rack.”

Thank you for this opportunity to introduce him to the world.


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